Ice Cream Ice Breaker

The "jewels" who entered my life that March day.

When I met the three of them, the twins were almost 15 and the oldest was nearly 17.  I had known about them for as long as they were old - but how long had they known about me? 

I got the phone call on a March afternoon, a week or so before I was to visit my hometown of Houston, TX. 

"Aunt Sheri - 'the girls' (as their half-siblings often refer to them) are really curious about you and would like to meet you.  What would you say about that?", queried my brother's oldest son.

"What do you think I'd say about that?", I questioned in response.

"I think you'd say, 'Of course!'", he replied.

"And that is a direct quote!", I said emphatically.

It was through the joint effort of my nephew broaching the subject, and his sister supplying me with the phone number, that led me, albeit with a bit of trepidation, to tap the contact information into the small screen that glared back at me. 

The words I was never certain I would ever hear rang forth from my phone:

"Hi, Aunt Sheri!", she said enthusiastically.  

Literal music to my ears, I relaxed at her welcoming tone, and absorbed the wonderment of the moment.  The girl, whom I had decided I would contact when she turned 18, if I had not connected with her before then, spoke with the confidence I wish that I had possessed at that age: 

"My sisters and I would love to meet you when you're town!"

"Nothing would make me happier!", I exclaimed. 

This is but the middle of a much longer family saga that I wish I could fully explain - and if I could, I would.  The truth is that I do not have adequate information.

It was many years ago, almost an entire generation of time, that contact abruptly ceased between my brother and the rest of our immediate and extended family.  Prior to that, I enjoyed getting to know his three older children during my visits to Houston and when I brought the kids to St. Louis to spend time with their cousins. 

Following the dissolution of his first marriage, my brother re-entered the matrimonial realm and subsequently raised a family of three daughters with my current sister-in-law. 

Time tumbled forward, feeling lopsided, limping along - almost taunting me with the fact that part of my family was missing from my life, including three precious girls whom I had not been given the opportunity to know.

Back to that fateful phone call and the midpoint of this timeline, my niece and I arranged a time and a place for all of us to meet.  An ice cream date! What could be better? It does seem that both chocolate and ice cream make everything easier, right?

Pulling into the parking lot on that March afternoon, I was too filled with anticipation to sit in my car, so I opened the door, stood up, and looked for three passengers in every vehicle that crawled by.  

Then, I saw them!

As the oldest one navigated her car into a spot, I closed the gap between us.  Not only the empty space from where I had been anchored to the asphalt, watching a hopeful future unfold, but also the aperture in the years I/we had missed until this moment.

Car doors opened, then slammed shut. 

Eight determined, scampering feet narrowed our distance.

Then, one at a time, my arms around each precious girl, I was finally holding the missing pieces of my life that so easily seeped in to fill the fissured contour of my heart. 

And after more hugs:

"Let's have ice cream!", I declared.

No chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry for us!  The first common bond we found, (not including my former last name), was what some might consider an unusual choice for our dairy delight: carrot cake!  With that, we claimed a table and began the process of getting to know each other.

In recounting the remarkable joy I felt at meeting these beautiful treasures, I remember describing it to my friends and other family members in this way:  It was if I had been going through life without a ring finger, because that one seemed to lack its own prominent function. Yet, all of a sudden, there it was, making me feel whole and wanting to shout its brilliant existence to the world.  

Think about it:

The thumb is our "opposable digit" and works in conjunction with the other fingers. It can also indicate agreement or disagreement with the simple twist of our wrist.

Our index finger or "pointer" - self-explanatory.

The middle finger - well....besides usually being the tallest, it can also be the "loudest" with its commonly configured, single-digit gesture.  Need I say more?

Pinky - little, but mighty.  We (supposedly) demonstrate refinement when we extend that finger while sipping our tea or coffee.  In addition, it is actually fairly necessary to our hand strength when doing pull-ups!

The ring finger - It is unable to stand up alone (due to shared muscles).  It does not grasp, indicate approval or disapproval, and is never used to convey displeasure to a stranger in the next vehicle who cut too closely in front of us.  Therefore, I believed that if I'd never had one, I would never have missed it.

That's when I decided to delve deeper and conduct a bit of research on this often-underestimated finger.

According to Palmreading.org, the ring finger is the Sun finger - which allows us to shine and share.  How appropriate, since my grandma moniker is "Sunny", I write about "The Sunny Side of Life", and I ascribe to the theory that yellow is, in fact, a lifestyle.  The article went on to say that it is the finger of passion, in this case, family; courage - exemplified here by three brave young women who made a conscious choice to take the initiative in meeting me; and charisma - the easy and loving manner in which they related to each other and to their "new" aunt.

Another source, "Wisdom by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar", a globally respected spiritual humanitarian and leader, assessed things thusly: "The ring finger is connected to the sun; the sun is the king; And who owns the jewels? The king, and so you put rings (jewels) on...." that finger.

It all made sense to me now!  The actual gems, like the sense of missing my fourth digit, had been absent from my world for close to seventeen years. That magical March moment brought me riches that fulfilled a part of me which might never have understood its need for more sunlight.  There had been a void before, but suddenly, I saw the luster of the jewels that belonged on that, seemingly, elusive finger: the shine of the girls' presence in my life.

To the three vibrant, smart, gorgeous gems who entered my world with grace, love, and acceptance: thank you.  

Ice cream may have broken the ice, but the warmth that has ensued between us is a true testament to the lovely humans that you are, as well as to your aunt's desire to remain a steadfast, supportive, and "sunny" part of your lives.

© Cre8ive Writes, LLC  2023