From My Son, to His...

My oldest child, as a toddler, in the re-finished bentwood rocker

Growing up in Texas gave me a front row seat to the realm of country music - not the twangity-twang, nasal warbling about losing one's truck, dog, or wife, (maybe even all three to make for a really bad day!), but rather, the more modernized type with the clever lyrics and plays on words.

When I moved to St. Louis, KSHE and Y98 were big names in radio, however, I loyally tuned my dial to WIL FM 92.3 and immersed myself in the familiarity of home.

My first child was born, and I was eager to rock him, sing to him. and simply share my love of music with him.  Of course, I sang the typical nursery rhymes, as well as the likes of Raffi - who gifted my tot with the magic of "Baby Beluga" and a few other often played tunes.  But I wasn't opposed to singing a few "unconventional" songs to him at nap time.

Through my radio, Collin Raye's voice brought me a tender ballad called, "Love, Me", just in time to begin singing it to my son.  It felt significant, as I often signed notes and cards with those same words.

Nap time found us snuggled on the white and teal, polka-dotted fabric of an old bentwood rocking chair that I had found at a flea market, refinished, and to whom I awarded permanent residency in our nursery.  Nap after nap, bedtime after bedtime:

"...If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.  I'll meet you when my chores are through. I don't know how long I'll be. But I'm not gonna let you down. Darling, wait and see. And between now and then, til I see you again, I'll be loving you.  Love, Me"  (See link)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dSN5MN_8y0

It is difficult to tell why that song soothed my son into slumber.  Was it the story?  The melody?  My voice?  I just knew that it was comforting, relaxing, and a sleep time ritual that lived a long life as our family grew.  The girl who sang every night at dinner, in order to fill the silence, had become a mom who sang to her children to fill their hearts, minds, and lives with music.

Fast forward many years, and I am now blessed to watch my first-born parent his own child with love, humor, and a strong, yet velvet hand.  It has been my good fortune to share in care-taking responsibilities for my grandcookie.  

At home, my son and daughter-in-law had established their own bedtime song routine, inviting "Baa, Baa Blacksheep", "ABCs", and Barney's, "I Love You. You Love Me." to lull my sweet little grandnugget into Dreamland.  I abided by the chosen songs and gladly incorporated them into nap time at Sunny's house.  But then.....what with my love of singing and all, I added a couple of more to the repertoire. 

Collin Raye's "Love Me" joined the ranks!  If it was good enough for my children, it was good enough for theirs!

"I read a note my grandma wrote, back in 1923.  Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me....."

Feeling the sleepy weight of this sweet being slowly relaxing, I continued:

".....We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.  Get married in the first town we came to and live forever..."

Into the crib I gently set this little bundle, and rubbed his back while I finished the song:

"....and between now and then, til I see you again, I'll  be loving you.  Love, Me"

Although it was not a daily occurrence, nap time after nap time, bedtime after bedtime (when we were lucky enough to have sleepovers!), "Love Me" was instrumental in transporting my grandcookie to his place of happy dreams.

The joy I felt in replaying those sleepytime moments with my son's own child tugged heavily on my heartstrings.  The circle of life?  A rite of grandparent passage to hit the "replay" button? Nostalgia? The swift passage of time?  Perhaps all of the above?

One day, I received the following text message from my son, pre-empted by a video of a closed bedroom door:

"Singing himself to sleep during nap time"

I strained to listen:

"....We had this 'cwazy' plan to meet and 'wun' away 'togethuhhhh'....meet you when... (mumblemumble...made up words) 'aw thwough'.....Love, Me"

This tiny person was easing himself into slumber, singing the song that has now come full circle into the next generation of babies.  That my grandcookie found comfort and respite in the melody from naptime at Sunny's, caused the welling of tears in my eyes and indescribable emotion, as I thought back to the sweetness that enveloped me as I rocked this toddler's daddy to sleep just (what seemed like!) yesterday.  

Many traditions are intentionally passed down from parent to child to grandchild.  "Love Me", however, was an accidental link from my motherhood to my grandmotherhood - from my child, to his, and a beautiful surprise to hear emerging from behind the closed door of the nursery where this sweet child found comfort in a song that helped build a bridge between naptime at home and at Sunny's house, as well as a bond between a very special grandcookie and the woman who always keeps a (country) song in her heart.

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