Fexy Sish

 

                                                               

"What is Fexy Sish?", you might be wondering.  It is the name, altered by a couple of key letter reversals, of a Miami, Florida restaurant whose "culture" seems to promote double standards, subjectivity, and teeter on the edge of discrimination.

My friend, "Kay", was eager for me to experience this particular, posh dining establishment, known for its exquisite under-water decor, varied menu, and upscale dress code.  Ready to leave for dinner, we admired each other's tres chic ensembles, then headed out the door and into a most questionable encounter.

Feeling like we were within reasonable standards of "chicness", we were greeted outside the front door, by two attractive young women, hermetically sealed, in patterned satin miniskirts, with matching bralettes and little jackets.  Waiting to ascend the steps that would lead us into the building, Greeter #1 cast her eyes towards me, traveling down, up, then down again.

"You can come in.", said the hostess, pointing towards me.

I turned to look at Kay, thinking we would walk in together, and noticed the other welcomer assessing my friend - down, up, down...down...and still down.

"You cannot come in," uttered Greeter #2 to Kay.

She continued:

"You DO know that we have a dress code?" 

"I think I look pretty good!" Kay countered.

Her evaluator disagreed.

"Ma'am, we do not allow open toed shoes after 3:30 PM."

Looking down at my own "open toed shoes" (Here, in St. Louis, we call those 'SAN-DALS'.), I feared the worst.

Reading my mind, Greeter Number 1 followed my gaze down to the shoes on my feet and reported:

"Yours are fine. They have high heels."

Whew! No fashion police citation for me!

Kay stood there in her beautiful, hip, LONG sundress, matching orange sandals with straps that held them firmly to her feet, barely even visible beneath the hem of her nearly floor-length ruffled skirt.

"Judge" Number 2 continued:

"We don't allow FLAT, open-toed shoes after 3:30 PM."

Kay protested:

"I spoke with someone on the phone who confirmed our reservation but she never mentioned that stipulation of your dress code."

"I'm sorry.  That's our policy."

"I'm not sure what to do?", pondered Kay.

"There's a mall a couple of blocks up the street. They have a shoe store inside.", Regulator Number 2 replied.

"Is there a manager to whom I can speak?"

"Of course!"

Out came a man stitched into a satin suit, the fabric matching that of Scrutinizers Numbers 1 and 2.  Kay explained what had just transpired, and the manager, shaking his head and tsk-tsking at the same time, replied:

"I'm sorry, but we have a policy - a dress code. We cannot make exceptions because if we allow you in, it would not be fair to others if we must turn them away for the same 'violation'."

At that, Kay phoned the other party who was meeting us that evening:

"What kind of shoes are you wearing? If they are open-toed and flat, turn around!", and then she proceeded to relay the whole exchange with the wardrobe gendarme, speaking loudly enough for other passersby to hear:

"...yes, that's right! My shoes don't meet the criteria necessary for entrance...Yes, I'm serious!  Apparently I am in violation of the outfit regulations because my 'open-toed shoes' do not have have heels attached to them."

The manager, ears piqued by now, interrupted Kay's conversation and asked:

"How many are in your party, Ma'am?"

"Six."

With that, the expression on his face transformed from style sentinel to business administrator when he realized he would be giving up a 6-top table if he disallowed our entry.  He was definitely weighing the pros and cons of rejecting our business.  I'm guessing that a substantial dinner tab outweighed Kay's lack of heels.

"Okay.  We will make an exception for you, THIS TIME.  Next time, however, your open-toed shoes (aka: SAN-DALS) must have heels."

Upon entering what was akin to an underwater adventure, we were immersed in shades of blue, mermaids, fish, and running water.  Taking in the dazzling decor, as well as our fellow diners, we noticed that all of the women were clothed in figure hugging outfits and high heels.

While the women among us were "dressed to the nines", (that number practically equating to the height of most of their heels), countless men were clad in golf shirts, blue jeans, tennis shoes, and topsiders. (No semblance of any type of heels on their FLAT shoes!)

I chafed at the boldness of the management exacting such rigidness on women.  Do they assume that the women who dine there are with men who pay the tab so they do not impose such stringent measures on males?  Do they want to ensure that females look a certain way while "on the arm" of the men with whom they dine?  Shouldn't gentlemen be required to don attire commensurate with the management's regulations for women?

Returning home after dinner, I took myself to the restaurant's website, clicked on "Dress Code", and began reading: (Note:  Lines in red are my interpretation and/or commentary of their publicized dress code based on our experience that evening.)

"Any decision regarding permitting entry to

the restaurant is entirely at the 

management's discretions.

(We get to decide who we allow in.

End. Of. Story.)

We ask that you approach your wardrobe 

deliberately and with a sense of occasion.  You

are welcome if you dress with personality,

purpose, and originality, but please note we

favor a glamorous dress code (for women). 

(Wear what you want as long as we approve. 

We get to decide who we allow in.)  We understand

the ever-changing seasonal fashion, the 

following items are not permitted any time

AFTER 3:30 pm

Shorts, (except for women whose nether 

regions extend beyond their shorts.), 

casual slides, flip flops, beach shoes, 

crocs, plastic or foam shoes are NOT

permitted.

THE ITEMS BELOW ARE NOT PERMITTED AT

ANYTIME (sic)

 Visibly revealing clothing and beachwear

(Shorts that expose women’s nether regions are exempt from this line item, as are dresses and blouses that make it nearly impossible to keep one’s eyes from traveling south of their chins and north of their navels.)

Sportswear including athletic sneakers

(Women may not wear sneakers or tennis shoes.)

Footwear that are made of rubber or silicon,

(Women may not wear rubber or silicon footwear.)

Flip flops/Thong sandals

Sliders

No hats and caps

Hoodies

Party accessories (including veils, crowns, sashes & other)"

(Festively themed bachelorette parties and accessories are not welcome.)

Scouring their wardrobe rules, I failed to note any mention of open-toed shoes (SAN-DALS) requiring a high heel in order to be granted entry into this establishment.

The reality, as far as I could tell, was that their attire specifications needed not say more than:

"We get to decide who we allow in."

I realize that I am taking a bold leap by calling out a restaurant for maintaining double standards by their discriminatory actions in setting different expectations for different genders.  It is difficult to ascertain the distinction between what they refer to as a "dress code" and the act of objectifying their women patrons.  Their clothing ordinance is antiquated, chauvinistic, and counters modern-day ideals of gender expectations.

In a society that has come so far in its attempt to embrace a varied social spectrum, this particular restaurant has reversed course, just as the letters in the name of their restaurant have been reversed in the title of this post to "conceal" their identity.

No matter how delectable the food might (or might not) be, or how beautifully intricate and detailed their interior ornamentation is, my first visit will also be my last.  Instead of embarrassing a potential guest in front of others, particularly when they publicize their wardrobe regulations as encouraging people to dress with "personality", not only are they affronting that person's clothing, but also their individuality - a trait which the executive committee claims to espouse.

The management, particularly if they are of the male persuasion, should not be "let loose" to dictate the "height of fashion" where women's shoes are concerned - at least not until they have walked a mile in our high heeled, open-toed shoes (SAN-DALS)!

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